To be or not to be...volunteers

So our volunteer opportunity did not work out as planned today. However, as I noticed my urgency to serve and my frustration when that didn't happen, I had to stop, take a step back, and ask myself, as a volunteer, what am I here to do? Who am I here to be?

I was anxious to serve because I wanted to feel that gratification that comes from service when you know you've worked as hard as you could to try and make the biggest impact. This "impact" is quite measurable at the dining hall we would have volunteered at this morning: they feed 400 people for breakfast each morning which means a lot of work dishing up food and washing dishes and cleaning tables. When we found out that we were too late to help (due to a metro and scheduling mishap) I felt unfulfilled. I also felt ashamed as we walked through the kitchen past some guests finishing their breakfasts and many volunteers who had worked hard to complete the breakfast shift.

After watching an informational video about the facility, shown to all volunteers, Angela and I went in search of the volunteer coordinator Dirk to see if there was anything at all we could help with. As we entered the kitchen to find him, we found ourselves in the way and asking other volunteers to take time away from what they were doing to help us find something to do. Later on, Dirk still invited us to eat with the other volunteers and my morals of fairness made me really hesitant to accept his invitation. Again, making him work harder and almost beg to convince us stay even though we felt like we didn't deserve the meal was getting in the way of the volunteering itself.

I realized this: the point of us volunteering was NOT for us to do work and be busy, but to serve with the people/organizations in need and to learn more about homelessness and the many factors which cause it. Even though we didn't serve as expected, we did learn from the video and Dirk's thorough tour of the facility. We had some take aways. Sometimes to be a volunteer means just to listen and do what is asked, even if it feels too easy or that it is not making a difference. While this is NOT to say that any service-learning we do should not be questioned, it is valuable to recognize the importance of humility as a volunteer.

Love,
Lisa